sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
