I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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