I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
