I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
