ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
