Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
