I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
