just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
