If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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