Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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