Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
