I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
