You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
