I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
