Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
