Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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