Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
