I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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