I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
