her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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