I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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