Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
