My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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