I will die if light touches me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
