What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
