3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
