Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
