I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We are all done wearing pants today
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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