this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
