??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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