I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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