A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
