if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
