I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
