remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
