I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
