Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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