he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
