Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
