I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
