would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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