i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
