its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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