I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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