i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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