I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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