She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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