Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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