It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
