I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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