im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
