I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
