he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
