no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
