he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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