By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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