I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
