No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
