in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
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