Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
