WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
