therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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