You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
