Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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