i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
