my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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