no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
