member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
