scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize