Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
