You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize